You came way too early.
Wind blasting our house at 40+mph. I get to wake up at 5:30AM.
Alex entering our bed after waking up. And of course Aidan is up early too. Nobody wakes up quietly here, there's always screaming involved. Highlight... Although I don't get back to sleep, I get to lay there holding a sleeping Alex. That really is a nice part of the morning!
I get blamed for a lack of time in the morning. Charming. I state there won't be any rides to school if the bus is missed. More huffing. It's all my fault.
I don't want cereal. I want eggs. My lunch isn't here. Someone moved my coat. (To be answered with, I'm not making more eggs, I didn't move the lunch or the coat. 2 minutes til the bus is here).
Toddler/preschool aged kids way.too.noisy.
One child is running a fever. The automated message asks me if I want his homework collected. If he's too sick to go to school, how is he well enough for homework? Play the game.
Fights over a magnetic train. Where is my wallet?! (You don't need that for school. Have some cereal).....(but I don't WANT cereal)
It's crazy hair day at school for some of mine but I'm not feeling it today. The hair stuff is in my room where the baby and my husband are still sleeping.
I'm really looking forward to the coffee I know I'm going to be ordering this morning. I'd typed 'afternoon' because that's how far away it seems to me right now.
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(Yes, I'd rather my home be loud than quiet. Children are a wonderful reason to lose sleep. We had a great weekend with a good friend from Bethel. Many rounds of Catan were played. There was a birthday party.)
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Sometimes I don't have the mental energy to sugarcoat some of this any more. I really do wish I was still in bed, or that I got a full night of sleep. I wish I wAsnt getting glared at by a child right now who didn't get enough sleep last night.
To be continued.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
insurance and other things
Things have taken a less-than-fun undertone here at our house. We have been going back and forth for months with our new insurance company for coverage of the growth hormone Rose uses. It's like one of the stories you hear about where the parents end up retaining a legal team. I call in to their prior authorization department and am 'randomly' disconnected via phone. The doctor's office is told one thing, I'm told another, and a third thing is actually happening.
One thing we're really grateful for is the drug company's bridge program which allows us medication to continue treatment while the insurance throws up walls. We have been told by Rosalie's doctor that her case is as cut and dry as it gets for justifying treatment and that this should not be such a fight to get it approved. It's never been one, before this. To say I'm not impressed with United Healthcare would be a huge understatement.
In other news, I got in a nice hike yesterday with a friend. There were a lot of people on the trails. We hit a ridge just as the sun was setting; things like that are what makes living in Alaska in the winter nice!
Parent teacher conferences are done with as of last week. The kids are doing well. I'd give more information but as they get older I think I'm just going to curtail that kind of stuff going out there in this public venue. Suffice to say things are 90-95% smooth right now, and that's pretty good. (Hey, anyone who thinks they've got it 100% down? Congrats on having a perfect child/perfect life (tm) - enjoy it while it lasts)
It's getting colder but there's no snow on the ground yet. The leaves are all gone from the deciduous trees. Speaking of trees, we lost a couple in a windstorm a couple weeks ago. Bummer!
Today is Aaron's birthday. His party is Saturday!
One thing we're really grateful for is the drug company's bridge program which allows us medication to continue treatment while the insurance throws up walls. We have been told by Rosalie's doctor that her case is as cut and dry as it gets for justifying treatment and that this should not be such a fight to get it approved. It's never been one, before this. To say I'm not impressed with United Healthcare would be a huge understatement.
In other news, I got in a nice hike yesterday with a friend. There were a lot of people on the trails. We hit a ridge just as the sun was setting; things like that are what makes living in Alaska in the winter nice!
Parent teacher conferences are done with as of last week. The kids are doing well. I'd give more information but as they get older I think I'm just going to curtail that kind of stuff going out there in this public venue. Suffice to say things are 90-95% smooth right now, and that's pretty good. (Hey, anyone who thinks they've got it 100% down? Congrats on having a perfect child/perfect life (tm) - enjoy it while it lasts)
It's getting colder but there's no snow on the ground yet. The leaves are all gone from the deciduous trees. Speaking of trees, we lost a couple in a windstorm a couple weeks ago. Bummer!
Today is Aaron's birthday. His party is Saturday!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
How do you make Sundays less stressful?
Obviously this is aimed at church attendees...
I'll be honest and say I find Sundays stressful. Especially ones involving Sunday school. Why? First, because we burn the candle at both ends. Yes, in a perfect world we would quietly retire after a fulfilling and wholesome Saturday looking forward to the next day. In reality we go to bed "too late" after an activity filled day, pushing the limits of bedtime in an attempt to get some one-to-one adult time, even spent reading books together. That means, to make our Sunday school time of 10 AM, we have to all be out of bed by 9 and we're already on a timeline.
During the school week I'm up by 6:40 to get people going to school. Every day I can sleep in even til 8 is honestly a godsend. Last Sunday, we didn't wake up til 9:15 and ended up skipping Sunday school.
Next comes the hunt for appropriate clothing. Andrew hid his shoes. Where is Aidan's coat, and Rosalie is near tears because she didn't put her shoes away together. Yes... If only I had it more together, this could be a peaceful, faith filled Sunday. Except that while Andrew was hiding his shoes, I was getting Alex from the car, wiping up a milk spill, fielding an important phone call. When Rosalie didn't put her shoes away, instead of noticing. I was accepting a pile of homework, listening to a story from school, finding our last glue stick, fixing dinner. If only I had it all together.
So it's 9:15. I have to decide to do this alone or to wake Allen up. As much as he needs the rest I have been waking him with me because I had gotten to dreading Sundays due to the awful morning rush for something we are supposed to get spiritual solace from.
Time for a hot breakfast? Usually not. Cereal, or eggs and toast. It's ok, but again, everyone is watching the clock. Did someone spill milk down the front of their pretty dress/newly changed shirt? More laundry on the pile. The clock is ticking. Find new stuff, hope it matches... At least, reasonably. The dishes pile up (no time to load them on the way out the door - see the part about finding new clothes, feeding people) right along with another load of laundry.
If we're lucky, we have the dishes stacked by the dishwasher or maybe partially (or wholly!) loaded. Toss in a detergent. Time for the final shoes/socks/coat/hat/whatever run. Drive to church (allowing time for inclement weather as well as the jostling that occurs when seating a family of nine in one vehicle). Car seats. Buckling. Someone unbuckled! Rebuckle. Now we can leave (probably).
So we make it to church. 10:00; Mass starts at 11:30. See if our younger three (Andrew, 4, Aidan, 3 and Alex, 19 months) will accept the nursery. Reality is that at least one of them won't, even though the nursery is staffed by people the kids are familiar with (frequently people who have babysat for us). If we can convince them to stay and play in the nursery, Allen and I head up to adult catechism study. It goes through the readings for the Mass we have yet to experience. People share ideas, thoughts, reflect on the homily (there is a morning Mass at 8:30). It can be a good class. Sometimes it is s-l-o-w and quiet. And I'm still waking up, sometimes. Sunday school and the adult class dismiss at 11:15. To note, I'm glad we have a church that offers things like this, and has active and involved catechists. Better than the alternative. We split up again. One to get Andrew from the nursery and take him to Sunday school, one to collect the older four kids from their classes and find a seat at Mass. Cue possible upset by the other younger kids when they see a parent come to the nursery to collect one, but not all. Sometimes leave with Aidan as well (Alex loves the nursery... Aidan not so much).
Usually I collect the older kids and find our Mass seat. Allen arrives having taken Andrew to his class and maybe with or without Aidan. Mass lasts about 75-80 minutes. It's close to 1:00 by the time we leave. Hopefully lunch is in line. To cut costs, we quit getting donuts afterwards and now home-bake cookies. Back way up... Did we put the butter out before leaving? Maybe! In any event... A quick (read, not relaxing) lunch for the younger kids followed by naptime while Allen and the older four make those cookies.
My point in posting all of this is I've been leaving Mass wrung out, and more often than not, arriving wrung out. I feel like an entire day of our weekend... Disappears. Rushing from event to event, even if spiritual. I don't think it's supposed to be like this. Writing has helped me to focus on what I can possibly change (I can, and do, try addressing the missing shoe thing... However, knowing the night before is not the same as knowing at 9:50 the next morning where all those shoes are). I could prep a nice lunch the night before so I'm not arriving wrung out, with tired toddlers, and scrambling to make something quick and filling. I'll have to scrape up the time to do some research on good recipes that our people would eat.
I'm well aware some denominations spend even more time in church and religious activities than we do. I'm grateful for opportunities to learn about our faith and grateful for an active parish. I'm just finding the timing of it all a huge roadblock to getting much out of it, these days.
I'll be honest and say I find Sundays stressful. Especially ones involving Sunday school. Why? First, because we burn the candle at both ends. Yes, in a perfect world we would quietly retire after a fulfilling and wholesome Saturday looking forward to the next day. In reality we go to bed "too late" after an activity filled day, pushing the limits of bedtime in an attempt to get some one-to-one adult time, even spent reading books together. That means, to make our Sunday school time of 10 AM, we have to all be out of bed by 9 and we're already on a timeline.
During the school week I'm up by 6:40 to get people going to school. Every day I can sleep in even til 8 is honestly a godsend. Last Sunday, we didn't wake up til 9:15 and ended up skipping Sunday school.
Next comes the hunt for appropriate clothing. Andrew hid his shoes. Where is Aidan's coat, and Rosalie is near tears because she didn't put her shoes away together. Yes... If only I had it more together, this could be a peaceful, faith filled Sunday. Except that while Andrew was hiding his shoes, I was getting Alex from the car, wiping up a milk spill, fielding an important phone call. When Rosalie didn't put her shoes away, instead of noticing. I was accepting a pile of homework, listening to a story from school, finding our last glue stick, fixing dinner. If only I had it all together.
So it's 9:15. I have to decide to do this alone or to wake Allen up. As much as he needs the rest I have been waking him with me because I had gotten to dreading Sundays due to the awful morning rush for something we are supposed to get spiritual solace from.
Time for a hot breakfast? Usually not. Cereal, or eggs and toast. It's ok, but again, everyone is watching the clock. Did someone spill milk down the front of their pretty dress/newly changed shirt? More laundry on the pile. The clock is ticking. Find new stuff, hope it matches... At least, reasonably. The dishes pile up (no time to load them on the way out the door - see the part about finding new clothes, feeding people) right along with another load of laundry.
If we're lucky, we have the dishes stacked by the dishwasher or maybe partially (or wholly!) loaded. Toss in a detergent. Time for the final shoes/socks/coat/hat/whatever run. Drive to church (allowing time for inclement weather as well as the jostling that occurs when seating a family of nine in one vehicle). Car seats. Buckling. Someone unbuckled! Rebuckle. Now we can leave (probably).
So we make it to church. 10:00; Mass starts at 11:30. See if our younger three (Andrew, 4, Aidan, 3 and Alex, 19 months) will accept the nursery. Reality is that at least one of them won't, even though the nursery is staffed by people the kids are familiar with (frequently people who have babysat for us). If we can convince them to stay and play in the nursery, Allen and I head up to adult catechism study. It goes through the readings for the Mass we have yet to experience. People share ideas, thoughts, reflect on the homily (there is a morning Mass at 8:30). It can be a good class. Sometimes it is s-l-o-w and quiet. And I'm still waking up, sometimes. Sunday school and the adult class dismiss at 11:15. To note, I'm glad we have a church that offers things like this, and has active and involved catechists. Better than the alternative. We split up again. One to get Andrew from the nursery and take him to Sunday school, one to collect the older four kids from their classes and find a seat at Mass. Cue possible upset by the other younger kids when they see a parent come to the nursery to collect one, but not all. Sometimes leave with Aidan as well (Alex loves the nursery... Aidan not so much).
Usually I collect the older kids and find our Mass seat. Allen arrives having taken Andrew to his class and maybe with or without Aidan. Mass lasts about 75-80 minutes. It's close to 1:00 by the time we leave. Hopefully lunch is in line. To cut costs, we quit getting donuts afterwards and now home-bake cookies. Back way up... Did we put the butter out before leaving? Maybe! In any event... A quick (read, not relaxing) lunch for the younger kids followed by naptime while Allen and the older four make those cookies.
My point in posting all of this is I've been leaving Mass wrung out, and more often than not, arriving wrung out. I feel like an entire day of our weekend... Disappears. Rushing from event to event, even if spiritual. I don't think it's supposed to be like this. Writing has helped me to focus on what I can possibly change (I can, and do, try addressing the missing shoe thing... However, knowing the night before is not the same as knowing at 9:50 the next morning where all those shoes are). I could prep a nice lunch the night before so I'm not arriving wrung out, with tired toddlers, and scrambling to make something quick and filling. I'll have to scrape up the time to do some research on good recipes that our people would eat.
I'm well aware some denominations spend even more time in church and religious activities than we do. I'm grateful for opportunities to learn about our faith and grateful for an active parish. I'm just finding the timing of it all a huge roadblock to getting much out of it, these days.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
homemade laundry soap, take 2
Awhile back I posted about making your own laundry soap. Several times I followed the same recipe which involved dissolving the soap and detergent ingredients into a water suspension that was vaguely gel-like. After awhile of that I ended up back on commercial detergent because I didn't have time - seriously? Didn't have time to deal with making another batch.
I've come back to my senses and this time decided to try a dry mix and I'm much happier because it works pretty well AND it's super simple!
1 bar of Fels Naphtha soap
1 cup of borax
1 cup of washing soda
Grate the soap super fine (I used my super handy manual grater to do that...) and mix together with the washing soda and borax. Store in a lidded container. I use 2T per load.
Here's a point to me for avoiding the costs of commercial laundry detergent (which I am skeptical of in the first place, there's so much water in that liquid... it galls me to pay for water!)
I've come back to my senses and this time decided to try a dry mix and I'm much happier because it works pretty well AND it's super simple!
1 bar of Fels Naphtha soap
1 cup of borax
1 cup of washing soda
Grate the soap super fine (I used my super handy manual grater to do that...) and mix together with the washing soda and borax. Store in a lidded container. I use 2T per load.
Here's a point to me for avoiding the costs of commercial laundry detergent (which I am skeptical of in the first place, there's so much water in that liquid... it galls me to pay for water!)
domestic ponderings
I have so many questions (those of you who are jumping up and down in your seats screaming that you have ANSWERS can simmer down - very few people live "my" life and understand the things we do and why we do them - even if you've SEEN large families many many times! We're not all alike...Trust me!) that I am considering.
- Today I was cleaning my girls' room. They have self-colored pictures taped up all over their windows. It's sweet and charming. How long do I let them stay up? My impulse is they've been up long enough and the windows need cleaning, and they can do new drawings. For now I restrained myself and they're still up.
- How can I get people to be cheerier in the mornings? I am not a natural morning person but I can cover up the "I wish I was still in bed" part of me pretty easily. Why do small people (left unnamed) need to spread their displeasure at being awake around? I have very little patience for not even making an effort at it - especially if I start getting blamed for things like the timing of the bus arrival, or where one's belt went.
- Why do I still feel like I'm "getting the hang of" this having kids in school thing? I really do feel that way - it's a learning curve. Maybe part of it is the subject matter changes, the children grow and evolve, new challenges come up so I'm presented with a different "learning set" every year. I know there are people out there that consider homeschooling a panacea to any challenges that come up academically. I've realized I'm unlikely to be 100% satisfied with any school/system/curriculum. I don't feel it's appropriate to post more details here, as my kids get older I need to respect that privacy; that said, how about a big "AAARGH" to arbitrary rules, reading logs, ridiculous percentage scales in early grades.... need I say more? I've never had a first grader have percentage scores - their skills are still evolving and I thought that was why. Hmm.
- Difficult discussions regarding what one wants vs. what one is likely to get (tempering expectations, such as for Christmas). For reasons I'm not discussing here, we have cut most of our non-essential spending; including our internet service level, stacking trips to (wherever) on top of already being out, activities requiring an admission fee (movies, most dining out, babysitting, etc). One of our kids wants an iPod touch. I don't have an iPod touch. We had a discussion in the car this morning about how yes, others may have (XYZ toy of the minute, XYZ awesome tech device) but it is by no means a need. I'm betting there's someone out there giving themselves a pat on the back for being a hard worker and being fortunate. Medical bills, life circumstances - it can wipe a big chunk off the board straightaway and you may find yourself in a position to have to make big cuts someday. Really. Even if you're very, very good. (Yes, this is frustrating; I don't think people see it - I used to feel proud of how well we did. Now? I've realized I'm just like everyone else, and we've been fortunate and hard working. Past results not a guarantee of future performance - there are things outside our control.). I received a medical bill for one of the kids that was approaching $400 for an office visit (and yes, we've been blessed with good health so guess what? No deductible has been met yet). It's not fun and easy to meet one's financial obligations when they come in the form of bills and repair estimates. It's just life.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
my world
Here's a window into my evening.
By the door are several pairs of shoes. A lunchbox. backpacks. A violin, with an open music book on top of it. There's a water bottle that our 18 month old has mastered opening the 2 step flip top to open and tip just the right way for more water. A 3" binder full of middle school stuff that the same 18 month old opened up a zipper pouch and stole the calculator to use as a phone, growling "HEH-loh" into it and smiling.
The three year old, who needs to nap but doesn't, because that'd mean missing out on the fun his big brother had while he was sleeping, was put down for an early bedtime soon after dinner concluded. He was out cold very quickly in his bed. Dinner was turkey meat loaf. Or... meat lobe. An awesome mispronunciation by Andrew that just cracked me up because it works, it's weird, and it's funny. It's never going to be meat loaf for me again.
I retrieved our oldest from his last cross country meet, and we celebrated with a drive-through ice cream concoction. With 9 people in your family fast food adds up really quickly so we don't tend to do it unless it's a special occasion or one-on-one time like that. I got him a large - and he ate it all. And then ate dinner!
Our 10 year old started a game on the floor - a very active game - with his sisters and 4 year old brother. It was very physical, and loud, and lots of laughing. It involved high 5s and monster attacks. Rolls. The girls would feed off of each other and one would laugh, the other would squeal; Andrew would rush in and give his strongest assault to Aaron. Aaron and Allen would trade off on who was the "attacker". It was really heartwarming to see my kids creating this game, and having so much fun it was just about over the top.
I briefly imagined what an evening might look like in a smaller family. Things would probably be neater and there would be fewer backpacks by the door. Maybe everyone would quietly be reading or studying.
I have to say I love my crazy life. It's not for everyone but it is for me (thank goodness, right, since it IS my life!). I don't have a handle on everything at once. I love the variety that's offered me on a daily basis. There is never, ever a dull moment. Even the afternoon car-run for picking up from various events/schools/whatever is fun time in its own way.
Everybody has highs and lows regardless of occupation, family size, income... it's fun to step outside my role and appreciate how unique and full my particular life is. I'm grateful for it!
By the door are several pairs of shoes. A lunchbox. backpacks. A violin, with an open music book on top of it. There's a water bottle that our 18 month old has mastered opening the 2 step flip top to open and tip just the right way for more water. A 3" binder full of middle school stuff that the same 18 month old opened up a zipper pouch and stole the calculator to use as a phone, growling "HEH-loh" into it and smiling.
The three year old, who needs to nap but doesn't, because that'd mean missing out on the fun his big brother had while he was sleeping, was put down for an early bedtime soon after dinner concluded. He was out cold very quickly in his bed. Dinner was turkey meat loaf. Or... meat lobe. An awesome mispronunciation by Andrew that just cracked me up because it works, it's weird, and it's funny. It's never going to be meat loaf for me again.
I retrieved our oldest from his last cross country meet, and we celebrated with a drive-through ice cream concoction. With 9 people in your family fast food adds up really quickly so we don't tend to do it unless it's a special occasion or one-on-one time like that. I got him a large - and he ate it all. And then ate dinner!
Our 10 year old started a game on the floor - a very active game - with his sisters and 4 year old brother. It was very physical, and loud, and lots of laughing. It involved high 5s and monster attacks. Rolls. The girls would feed off of each other and one would laugh, the other would squeal; Andrew would rush in and give his strongest assault to Aaron. Aaron and Allen would trade off on who was the "attacker". It was really heartwarming to see my kids creating this game, and having so much fun it was just about over the top.
I briefly imagined what an evening might look like in a smaller family. Things would probably be neater and there would be fewer backpacks by the door. Maybe everyone would quietly be reading or studying.
I have to say I love my crazy life. It's not for everyone but it is for me (thank goodness, right, since it IS my life!). I don't have a handle on everything at once. I love the variety that's offered me on a daily basis. There is never, ever a dull moment. Even the afternoon car-run for picking up from various events/schools/whatever is fun time in its own way.
Everybody has highs and lows regardless of occupation, family size, income... it's fun to step outside my role and appreciate how unique and full my particular life is. I'm grateful for it!
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